So. We're home.
Has it really been a month? Truly?
Do you remember coming home from summer camp? That feeling of looking around, realizing that your life hasn't actually changed--YOU have. You'd pour over the pictures of the friends you made, the fun times you had, try to find words to tell your family all about it. Even the inevitable drama that accompanies summer camp ends up looking favorable in hindsight. Then you'd wonder--was all just a dream?
Colorado was wonderful. Just wonderful. Too wonderful to even put into words... for lots of different reasons. Of course, I'm sure we drove John's parents a little batty at times, but, hey, they love us anyway. If I could just move my family and friends up there with me, I'd never have reason to leave.
And so I'm home, and not exactly sure how to readjust to normal life again. John's mom is still here for a couple days, after driving home with me the past two days, and then when she leaves, I'll only have two weeks before my Grammie and a young family friend come for a visit. After that... it'll only be a few weeks until John gets home.
I'm repeating the above paragraph to myself every half hour or so today out of necessity. I'm struggling a little with the whole being home thing, and I'm finding my emotions in a bit of turmoil... not entirely sure I'm ready to go back to being alone, even though my head reminds me it's not for much longer.
But the months before I left for Colorado? Well, they were pretty hard, folks. I'm trying to recall how exactly to do that maneuver of pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. All I remember right now is that it's not always too pleasant.
It is good to see our fat kitty-cat. And to read piles of mail. Yesterday I got to see my brother and later this week I'll see my parents. Church this morning was awesome--a message from Joshua 1:9. How could it not be awesome? Seeing all "my people" reminded me of the fellowship we have here, and the incredible support they offer so lovingly. I remembered what life is like here, and that I do actually like it--shock and surprise!
And it's not much longer now, anyway, till the being alone part is over. I don't have another six months of this. It really is only a little over a month.
We'll make it.
Maybe if I keep reminding my head of that, my heart will soon follow.
Why is the home stretch always the hardest?
Has it really been a month? Truly?
Do you remember coming home from summer camp? That feeling of looking around, realizing that your life hasn't actually changed--YOU have. You'd pour over the pictures of the friends you made, the fun times you had, try to find words to tell your family all about it. Even the inevitable drama that accompanies summer camp ends up looking favorable in hindsight. Then you'd wonder--was all just a dream?
Colorado was wonderful. Just wonderful. Too wonderful to even put into words... for lots of different reasons. Of course, I'm sure we drove John's parents a little batty at times, but, hey, they love us anyway. If I could just move my family and friends up there with me, I'd never have reason to leave.
And so I'm home, and not exactly sure how to readjust to normal life again. John's mom is still here for a couple days, after driving home with me the past two days, and then when she leaves, I'll only have two weeks before my Grammie and a young family friend come for a visit. After that... it'll only be a few weeks until John gets home.
I'm repeating the above paragraph to myself every half hour or so today out of necessity. I'm struggling a little with the whole being home thing, and I'm finding my emotions in a bit of turmoil... not entirely sure I'm ready to go back to being alone, even though my head reminds me it's not for much longer.
But the months before I left for Colorado? Well, they were pretty hard, folks. I'm trying to recall how exactly to do that maneuver of pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. All I remember right now is that it's not always too pleasant.
It is good to see our fat kitty-cat. And to read piles of mail. Yesterday I got to see my brother and later this week I'll see my parents. Church this morning was awesome--a message from Joshua 1:9. How could it not be awesome? Seeing all "my people" reminded me of the fellowship we have here, and the incredible support they offer so lovingly. I remembered what life is like here, and that I do actually like it--shock and surprise!
And it's not much longer now, anyway, till the being alone part is over. I don't have another six months of this. It really is only a little over a month.
We'll make it.
Maybe if I keep reminding my head of that, my heart will soon follow.
Why is the home stretch always the hardest?
9 Comments:
Ashleigh, I am soooooo excited for you - yay!! Your John will, God willing, be home in a little over a month!! I'm smiling - almost laughing and dancing - for you and your John and your sweet little guys! :D
*Hug!*
I'm praying for you, too ... for strength for these last few weeks and days. I don't know why, but the home stretch of anything (I can't speak personally about deployment, but about other hard things! :P ) IS the hardest. Thankfully, we don't have to run the home stretch alone - our Jesus runs with us, giving us strength to run (or walk ... or even crawl) the next step ... and the next step. I know our Jesus is watching over you and that He will run the home stretch with you ... and I think He's excited about John coming home, too!! :D
(*Laughing and Dancing!*)
You know, my husband only deploys 70 days at a time, but I still relate to what you are sharing about the loneliness and struggling upon visiting around and then returning home to "no husband still." Time can pass so much easier and faster visiting and having loved ones around. But returning to our homes - where we have loved and cared for our husbands and waited eagerly for their return from work each day, only to be reminded that they're far away, it's very difficult. I pray for you, because I know what it feels like as a wife, and yet I know with 2 little ones your burden is even greater. I have a friend who just survived a 15 month deployment with what was originally a 4month old daughter, and I know these long deployments are painful. May the Lord give comfort and grace to sustain you these "alone" days.
(BTW, Used to know you on LiveJournal through CarolynH, I read a lot just am not a great commenter!)
It's so good to see you back - glad you had a wonderful time in Colorado and it's so exciting to think you will be seeing your beloved soon!
Know you are being bathed in prayer!
Love,
Carrie
Welcome Home to California Ashleigh! I'm glad to hear you had a wonderful getaway in Colorado. I'm sure by now your Mama told you we got to meet her when her and your Dad were in the Sierras! We need to figure out a day that we all can meet for lunch or something. That'd be something to fill up one of your days! :) I'll be praying for you as you work to get back to 'norma'.
I'm so glad to know John is coming home so much sooner than the original plan!
And I know that you'll make it till he gets home. The time will fly by. And you will handle it with grace and love - because that's how you are, and that's who you are.
Praying the best for you for the next month.
Oh, Ash, I'm SO GLAD that you are so close to the end. I tell you, sister - 5 days on my own with ONE baby, and I'm ready to pull my hairs out. :) God has poured infinite grace over you and your boys and your extended family. You have no idea what a testament your little blog has been throughout this chapter in your life. I'm so totally impressed, chica.
Your heart WILL follow, and soon you'll be saying, "Remember that time you were gone for 7 months??"
Oh Ash, just a month??? That is so very very awesome. :) You will make it; I know you will.
So glad you are home safe and sound! I've missed you!
Love ya!
I'm so glad he'll be home with you and the boys soon! Those last few weeks though....prepare for the emotional rollercoaster--especially with all the touch and go at the end with exact return times. And of course, I discovered (after the third "last mission", that my beloved was *volunteering* to go out, just to make the time go by faster for him! What can ya do?!?! :)
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Almost there! May it speed by until John is safely in your arms and you have the joy of reunion!
Hugs,
L (an Army wife)
My mom-in-law shared these words of wisdom and experience...in regards to our storage room that we're looking forward to completing, but methinks they apply to many things in life: "it always seems to be the worst when it's almost over." As in, the stacks of food and boxes and such all over my house are more annoying now that the storage room is almost ready for them... And it's a far cry of comparison, but I know you must miss your hubby even more realizing he's almost home... Praying for you! Talk to you soon... HUGS
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