It seems I’ve always had a place set aside in my heart as my own “special place.” Always someplace I loved, one I could simply think of and be calmed. A spot I thought would always be there if I needed somewhere to go, if life became difficult. Even if I never really did it, never really flew away to that special place during a hard time, I knew it was there. Waiting. Ready. A refuge from whatever troubles I faced, mountainous or mundane.
When I was a little girl, that place was my Grandma’s house. As an adult, I know now that life in her home wasn’t always as perfectly peaceful as I perceived in my childish mind, but to me, everything became better in that house. We’d sing songs, play with the family dog, and eat the rare treat of peanut butter ‘n’ jelly served on Wonder bread with a soft, thick white paper towel. When I was a teenager, that place became my Grammie’s house in Alabama. It always seemed our trips to the South were perfectly timed to coincide with my most drama-filled teenage moments, and just being in that green, beautiful, slower-paced world always cleared my mind. Last summer, it was Colorado. My in-laws sweetly cared for the boys and I while John was in Iraq, in their beautiful mountain home, smoothing a balm on my weary heart. Now, I’d think I’ll add Gretchen’s home in Washington to that list of places that soothe and calm me. I could have just had John and the boys pack up and head up to that farm land, stayed there forever and been happy.
The reality is that I can’t be in any or all of those places all the time. I live here, now, day-to-day, and life isn’t always idealistic. It’s real, it’s normal, and any rough patches must be dealt with as they come, right alongside everything else.
But sometimes, in the quietness of the morning, my Father gives me a respite, there in the midst of it all.
Monday, March 23, 2009
7:10 AMTroy is sleeping late today~he was up much of the night. I’d still be asleep too if I didn’t have another tiny little boy up, wanting snuggles and breakfast! So here he sits beside me, munching on Cheerios in his high chair, giggling and babbling. I sit, with coffee in hand, smiling back at him through sleepy mama eyes. Also, with Bible and journal open on the table, flowers clipped from the yard water-bathing in a thin vase, soft piano music over the stereo speakers.
Idealistic, yes, but it is real.
So is the hard stuff, but for now, the sweetness and quietness is real. A refuge from the craziness. A “filling up” done by You, Lord. Before I meet the day.
The day has continued and has, of course, proved itself just another normal day. One filled with good things, rough moments, training, coloring, meal-fixing, block tower building, diaper changing, husband-texting, phone calling, a mama who is not-so-good-feeling, laundry doing, toy cleaning. Next on the agenda is book reading, nap taking, exercising, dinner making.
Oh, wait, that would all come after the moment of needful discipline that just arose. Pardon me while I take advantage of that “filling up” from this morning to confront hitting, lying and disobeying.
A refuge doesn’t necessarily take away that which we’re escaping, it gives us a safe haven to rest and prepare, all while guarded and fought for by One stronger than we.
Psalm 46:11
Mod Girl says:
“…all while guarded and fought for by One stronger than we.”
I needed to read this today. Thank you.
This morning, as I prepared to walk into a big appointment, I claimed this verse…
“It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them.” Psalm 44:3
[Reply]
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Katie says:
Welcome back, friend.
What a lovely post – and how true – for mamas and daddies and women and men of all ages…
We were not made for mountain-top living (even though everyone wants to stay up there with Jesus and Moses and Elijah) – but God does give us beautiful moments of respite on those mountains when we need it most.
Praying you get some good rest tonight!!
[Reply]
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Ginger says:
I loved your post!! I always love your posts but some posts just walk right into my heart and stays and allows me to ponder upon the post for awhile. I thank you for the way you write! You are so talented….plus everytime you mention your journal you always make me want to start writing in mine.:)
Ginger~
[Reply]
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Bekah.Hope says:
MMMmmm.. I love your perspective on this. I too have a hiding place. I even wrote a blog post about it a couple years ago. But you’re right. Circumstances and life changes where you can’t retreat to those places any longer. I never realized before that the Lord created another hiding place for me… in His presence alone. On crisp spring mornings. Or whenever..
Thanks Ashleigh! :-)
http://thespiritwitness.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-hiding-place.html
[Reply]
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Debbie says:
That was wonderful! Thanks for posting it.
[Reply]
March 24th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Mrs. Taft says:
So true! Thanks for posting, I needed to hear this today :)
[Reply]
March 24th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Elizabeth says:
Another of your commenters said:
“I always love your posts but some posts just walk right into my heart and stays and allows me to ponder upon the post for awhile.”
She captures my feelings perfectly! This is one of those posts that walks right into my heart. Thank you for writing and sharing it, dear one!
[Reply]
March 24th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Girly says:
amen to that.
keeping your family in my prayers.
[Reply]
March 24th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Cheryl says:
Excellent post Ashleigh. I especially love your encouraging words in your last paragraph. You really encouraged me.
Blessings to you and your family and retired military wife hugs to you. Your doing a great job.
Cheryl
[Reply]
March 24th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
sethswifeforlife says:
AMEN! I've sure been thinking of you and your family recently, and you're all in my prayers.
God is our refuge & strength, thank HIM for that. I needed to read that right now.
Blessings to you all, dear!
[Reply]
March 24th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Carrie at dumptrucksandteacups says:
hmmm…. such a beautiful post Ashleigh. He is good to give us those times of quiet, those times of peace, those times when He just reminds us of who He is… He gives us the strength to take another step forward. Yes, it is a filling up.
[Reply]
March 27th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Melanie says:
Hmm, I usually eat breakfast while checking out facebook…your morning makes a much prettier picture. And a better all around start. :-)
I really love your blog.
[Reply]
April 1st, 2009 at 6:16 am
Heart & Home » Loved says:
[...] that God, the ultimate love-giver, and I have had some struggles in the past year. I’ve clung to Him, pushed Him away, questioned Him, believed Him, doubted Him. I’ve crossed my arms, turned my [...]
April 1st, 2010 at 12:04 am