It was still quiet in the house. Merritt was sleeping late, John had left for work, and it was just Troy and I downstairs.
He spotted my Bible, open beside me on the couch and declared, “Mama, I wanna read about love.”
I smiled, wrapped my arm around his little pajama-clad shoulders and, just as we have nearly every morning for the past several weeks, read him “our love verses” from 1 Corinthians 13.
It was a morning much like this, about a month ago, when I read these verses again on my own and watched them come alive on the thin pages on my Bible. This isn’t just a cliche passage to be read at weddings and printed on bookstore gifts. These verses have the power to completely transform my life, something they’re doing in my heart daily. In the midst of a month that has worn me out when it comes to training my children’s hearts, the extent to which I’ve needed these verses can’t be measured. Troy had joined me for devotions a few early mornings later and, just as my mama used to do with me, I simply read him what I was reading, birthing a tiny tradition.
This morning we talked about the attribute we learned last week, “love is kind,” and the one before that, “love is longsuffering.” You want a mental workout? Try explaining “longsuffering” to an inquisitive three-year-old mind. But I will assure you of this, it IS possible.
“Let’s write them, Mommy!” He hopped off the couch and bounded over to the easel. We chose chalk colors, writing each love-trait on the board and saying them in different voices, a serious moment wrapped with a ribbon of silliness.
We were at “love does not rejoice in iniquity” when the antsy antics came over him. He rolled from his knees to his tummy, rocking his blonde head against my knees.
“Why do we do love, Mama? I don’t want to do anymore love.”
“We read these love verses because they tell us what Jesus is, and teach us how to become more like Him.”
He furrowed his brow. “But I don’t want to be like Jesus.”
My own brow raised. “You don’t?”
“No. Because I wanna to be like you and like Daddy. I want to be like you guys.”
My throat tightened. Like us? Like… us?
How do I display this Love to my three year old? My one year old? Do I show them longsuffering when I’m cleaning up an accident in a toddler bed at 3am, for the second time that week? Do they see me bearing all things when someone takes advantage of what I deem to be my rights? What about my rude behavior, mumbling and sighing when the line is too long at the store? Or when they hear me talking to their daddy, maligning a friend with my words–where, then, is that “thinks no evil?” Do they see me being hopeful in all things, even when life threatens to send me into despair?
These aren’t just cliche verses. They are real. They are meant to transform our lives, to be evident in every action, word, thought.
But I’m fallible. I will not always be a shining example of this Love. Looking into the blue eyes of my little man, this realization chokes me. In their little minds that are yet attempting to grasp the concept of a God they can’t see, we are what they’re watching, trying to find Jesus. The responsibility is staggering.
I bent my head low over Troy’s sweet face and kissed his nose.
“I tell you what, Troysie, Mama and Daddy are following Jesus every day and He is the One who can make us more like Him. So how ’bout if you join us, and we’ll all follow Him together?”
His smile was so big his eyes crinkled at me. “Okay, Mama.”
LeAnna says:
This rings so true for me, especially today. Thank you for sharing your heart.
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April 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Kaira says:
So Sweet.
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April 6th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Lydia says:
What a perfect response, Ashleigh.
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April 6th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Carrie at dumptrucksandteacups says:
beautiful… you are doing a good job, my friend.
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April 6th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Judy says:
Precious…
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April 6th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Kate says:
That is precious beyond words.
Isn’t it amazing what is shown through a child? :) Thanks for sharing.
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April 7th, 2009 at 7:11 am
The Wade's says:
Wow.
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April 7th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Rhonda says:
All I can say is “Thank You.”
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April 7th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Ginger says:
A few hours after I came home from a long day of school I change into my “comfy” clothes and started checking blogs,facebook etc…always happy to see a new post from you I start to read…
It was as if someone poured cool refeshing water over my head on a hot summers day. Ashleigh, I needed that post.
And I thank you for the ever gentle reminder you just gave me.
Ginger~
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April 7th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Valerie aka Mamalovelock says:
Love, love, love this post. So true, every word of it! I applaud you for teaching your boys about Jesus and following him. You are doing a good job momma. You have encouraged me today and challenged me. I needed this post. (Momma’s been just a little too grouchy today). Thanks.
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April 7th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Elizabeth says:
What a beautiful post.
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April 8th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Mishel says:
Once again your mama is humbled by your words…beautiful and very needed right now.
Love you, Baby-girl…
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April 8th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Heather says:
*choking* back the tears…
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April 8th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Tiffany says:
HE melts my heart!!!!
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April 9th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Samantha R. says:
This brought tears to my eyes… beautiful answer, Ash!
And it warms my heart to see you teaching and leading your little boy to follow Jesus.
God Bless you in all your endeavors as you strive to raise up your little ones in the Love of the Lord.
~Samantha
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April 9th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Debbie says:
That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing it.
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April 9th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Sileena says:
I needed this more than you’ll ever know.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
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April 11th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Steve n Vickie says:
Great post!!! You have such a way with words. I enjoyed reading it. Give that little guy a squeeze for me.
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April 11th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
MoziEsmé says:
Great post – you answered him perfectly!
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April 11th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Elizabeth says:
Beautiful.
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April 13th, 2009 at 6:30 am
equidae says:
ITs a beautiful note there. Thank you for sharing it I will try and remember it everytime I feel tired when my little son’s cries fill my ears.
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April 14th, 2009 at 6:17 am
Amanda (Davis) Wells says:
Ashleigh, I just read this, and it’s so encouraging! Thank you for sharing your heart, and so beautifully! I so wish I had some mamas like you around to share life with, but I guess the online world will have to do. :-)
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April 15th, 2009 at 8:58 am